okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My bed smells like the plague
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize