the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
