GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
