It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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