getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
