I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
