Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
