I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
