White coat. Heels.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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