Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
