I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
