halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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