TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize