First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
