He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
