We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
