her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
