I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
