Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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