GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
