he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
