If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
