I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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