PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
