i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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