You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
