i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
