he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize