he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
