He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
