so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
ok first of all what the fuck
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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