I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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