youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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