Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize