I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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