What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
