You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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