I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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