i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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