Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
