he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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