This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
