So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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