Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize