How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
