So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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