I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
