I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize