Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
