Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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