By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
