Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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