I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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