I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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