Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
