I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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