there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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