you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize