I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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