Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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