He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
