gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
