If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
