I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
handjob tips. give me some.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
