All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
