I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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