he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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