I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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