dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
