I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
