D3 body, D1 cock
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
